“I Have Anxiety” - Let’s Rethink the Language We Use

“I have anxiety.”

It’s a phrase I hear regularly; as a therapist and honestly, as a person myself. It’s become such a common way to describe our experience that we rarely stop to think about the language we’re using.

Working with people through Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy, I’ve noticed something important… the word ‘have’ can unintentionally give anxiety far more power than it deserves.

When we say “I have anxiety”, it sounds as though anxiety is something fixed. Something that owns us. A permanent label we wear rather than an emotion we experience.

And yet, one of the most transformative parts of cognitive behavioural work is learning that our thoughts and behaviours are not set in stone. They can be understood, challenged and reframed. The language we use matters more than we realise.

Sometimes, when someone tells me they “have” anxiety, I gently ask… “But do you also have joy?”

Most people pause at that.

We don’t usually announce “I have joy.” Yet we absolutely experience joy. We feel it, sometimes fleetingly, sometimes deeply. When we nurture it, notice it and allow space for it, it grows.

So why do we so readily accept “having” anxiety as part of our identity?

The truth is, anxiety is part of being human. It’s deeply connected to survival. Our brains were designed to protect us from genuine danger, the proverbial sabre-toothed tiger lurking nearby. Rather frustratingly, our nervous systems haven’t changed much since then.

The problem is that modern life now triggers that same survival response in very different ways. Work stress, exam pressures, social media, financial worries – the list is endless. So, if you experience anxiety, your brain is trying to protect you. Anxiety disorders are rising in people of all ages. This is also why hope is so important - anxiety is not your written story.

There are ways to cope. Ways to calm the nervous system. Ways to reframe fearful thinking. Ways to change your behaviour that unintentionally perpetuate your thoughts and physiological responses. Ways to rebuild trust in yourself and your body. Healing won’t happen overnight, but it does happen.

Perhaps one of the first places to begin is with is the words we use. What if, instead of saying I have anxiety, we started saying:

• “I’m experiencing anxiety right now.”

• “I’m feeling anxious.”

• “My nervous system feels overwhelmed today.”

  
  

Simple shifts in language can create powerful shifts in perspective. They remind us that anxiety is a state, not an identity.

Anxiety is undeniably uncomfortable. It can feel consuming at times. But uncomfortable does not mean dangerous. Most importantly, you are so much more than your anxiety.